So it’s been a while since I’ve actually written something. Well, got to say that it’s partly because I was suffering from writers block to a certain extent. However, here I am with something fresh off the book of Juliet.
Brought up in a very conservative household, I was somewhat bound to look at people with a pre conceived notion. As a child, all I ever knew of people was that if you believed in Jesus you were good and if you don’t, you are bad. I was the star kid of Sunday school. I memorized my scriptures on point and I knew all my Christian hymns by heart at the age of 5.
Time flew by and I grew up. Most certainly I did associate with more people than I ever had. Well, I must say that the most elaborate and the years that have molded me are the ones I have learnt about people the most.
2012 was a year that I went into total chaos. Till then, I thought I was immune to such breakable situations. I had all the comfort I needed, pocket-money from my dad, and I was about to complete my first year in LLB.
I crashed down. My mind took a turn for the worse and suddenly, everything was null. It was like I was walking in my void and though I had my family with me, still I was alone. Shame tugged on me and as I hid myself from my friends and was sabotaging my future, I just did not care. I simply wanted to die.
It was then I met a friend. She was unusual. I liked her spirit. I liked how she laughed out loud without any care and she lived in her own world. I loved how she was ever so willing to aid me in the mini plans I had executed to get childish revenge and how she would listen to the long conversations throughout the night where I would repeat the same thing over a billion times.
Still I was looking for ways to end my pain. I knew I was a sinner and I thought that Jesus didn’t even want to have to do anything with me.
Through my said friend I came across a whole group of new friends. Now trust me I had never ever known these people ever in my life. We had nothing in common. But from the first day we met and to this date, I am one of them. They have opened doors to me when I sought shelter and they have dedicated their time and money to keep me happy. The best memory I hold of these dear people is when all of us had a blast at the beach at 12 a.m. and decided to sleep under the stars on the balcony of one of their homes. We were just lying there; all of us…and it was beautiful.
And then I came across four amazing women. One was the listener, the shoulder to cry on, and the entertainer: one was the sensitive and organized one: one was the silent and creative one ( I must say all four of them are exceptionally creative) : and one was the soft-spoken and wise one. They knew exactly what I was going through and they made sure I was happy. I met the best manager I have ever worked with and he knew what I was going through. They knew I was sad. They knew I was depressed.
When I suddenly dropped out of work, they understood. And to this date I re think of the beautiful memories we had together.
Then I went on to meet a friend who is more than a friend. She, whom I’ve never know, opened up her heart, house and family to me. We’ve spoken till the wee hours of morning and she knows me and I know her. She chose to love but never judge.
Recently I meet three guys and two girls who have since made me a happier person. I’ve been able to be free and enjoy the years I have missed out. I will never forget how two of them went out-of-the-way to keep me happy on a day that I was extremely gloomy and sad; we played video games, watched a movie and munched on fries.
Likewise I met so many people. But there are few who made a special mark. They knew exactly what I was going through. They refused to judge me and instead, their love helped me through. Their constant encouragement saw the potential within me. And here I am making my mark and going towards my dream.
I did have friends in school. I still love them and appreciate them. But what makes these people special is that they were around when I needed them the most. Their presence in my hardest and darkest times kept me from going insane.
Within the course of the last five years, I’ve spent the night in a Muslim home and shared dinners with Buddhists and Catholics. I’ve sat at floor by O and listened to hearts pour out their deepest sorrow over emptied shots of tequila. I’ve taken road trips at one a.m. and thrown surprises for birthdays. I’ve heard of how a man fights to keep his family going simply because he wants his four-year old to have his mom. I’ve listened to the heartbreak of a grown man and how he explains horrific experiences as a child. I’ve listened with a heavy heart to how one tries to keep her head sane while everything is falling apart. I’ve known people more than I have ever before.
So what is the point that I am trying to make here? Well, sometimes we are judgmental. We hardly associate and we tend to be selfish. But look around, there are selfless people filled with love. Maybe all that they need is a bit of love too. All these people sent into my life, I now know that they were and always will be my angels. God used and is still using every single person in my life to hold me through. These people saw me in the hospital bed with attempted suicide. They saw my ever messy room. They are the real deal. And I will love them for many years to come.
I might sound a bit off the religious track, but I am simply stating my heart as a human. And it is through these people who I saw love; selfless love without any sort of expectation and gain in return.
So go ahead, love before you judge. You might meet your next angel on the way.

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